It is so sad. Tragic, really.
You see, it seems that DH got a "computer virus".
Those viruses can sure be tricky.
Especially when they forward your emails to everyone in your address book.
ESPECIALLY when the emails are messages to and from your mistress.
ESPECIALLY when your address book contains the email addresses of all your friends, family, and neighbors.
It can be hard to recover from a nasty computer virus like that.
I believe it is known as the "Agent 007" virus.
It's a doozy.
Apparently the side effects include hives, blurred vision, and the overwhelming disapproval of adulterous activities by one's circle of friends. One of the most annoying aspects of "Agent 007" is its tendency to forward copies of all emails to soon-to-be ex-wives .
So hard to sneak around when there are spying eyes everywhere, now isn't it?
UPDATE: I called DH this evening to arrange to pick up a few of my things - just to reinforce the idea that I had no way to get into the house by myself (wouldn't want him to think I had snooped around and "acquired" anything on a previous trip).
Anyway, he sounded like a total wet mop. It was great. Poor guy. I can't imagine what it might be like to have everyone in your known universe think you were a sleeze. Especially after spending months telling everyone your wife "just took the baby and left and didn't say why".
Boo Hoo. I'm feeling all sobby inside. Somebody hand me a tissue, please.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
An Open Letter to a Homewrecker
Open letters are all the rage these days, so I thought I'd try my hand at it...
Dear T,
I am quite curious to know if you are the reason DH left me when DD was only 5 1/2 weeks old? If so, and if you do one day have a child of your own, I hope that you suffer immensely every day of your life with the pain I have to endure knowing that my baby will grow up without a family.
You are a truly vile and filthy human being, T. If you are so eager to get in line to be number 3, I might do well to wish you the best. After all, you would certainly be getting no less than you deserve. He's done the same to two wives so far. Statistically, I hear that homewrecking whores fare much worse at creating successful relationships than do those of us who were honest and upright.
This does not, however, forgive your evil of being an opportunistic homewrecker. I hope your disgusting character is made plain to everyone you know very soon and that your evil is repaid tenfold.
Regards,
Mrs. xxxxxx
Tell the truth...is it too much?
Dear T,
I am quite curious to know if you are the reason DH left me when DD was only 5 1/2 weeks old? If so, and if you do one day have a child of your own, I hope that you suffer immensely every day of your life with the pain I have to endure knowing that my baby will grow up without a family.
You are a truly vile and filthy human being, T. If you are so eager to get in line to be number 3, I might do well to wish you the best. After all, you would certainly be getting no less than you deserve. He's done the same to two wives so far. Statistically, I hear that homewrecking whores fare much worse at creating successful relationships than do those of us who were honest and upright.
This does not, however, forgive your evil of being an opportunistic homewrecker. I hope your disgusting character is made plain to everyone you know very soon and that your evil is repaid tenfold.
Regards,
Mrs. xxxxxx
Tell the truth...is it too much?
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
He's Having an Affair
Okay, I know my DH is an a$$ and I know I am divorcing him, but this just pisses me off (at least until it will start to hurt ).
He has been emailing a coworker. NOT a usual thing for him. He got back from his trip and started sending her emails every day. Mostly just pictures, but still...
On Sunday, he had a charge on his bank account for Cheesecake Factory. There is NO ONE IN THE WORLD he would take to Cheesecake Factory. He certainly wouldn't have taken me.
So today, there is an email to his coworker saying he had "called twice and she hadn't called back. Everything's okay. I'm okay, you're okay. I just wanted to get you alone. But I don't want it to be obvious to anyone at work."
WTH? Regarding the pictures he's sent, they are all close up look-at-my-sexy-self pictures. He sends actual surfing pictures and scenary pictures to everyone else, not this close-up smiley crap.
As soon as he sent the email, he must have deleted it from his Sent and Trash folders. It disappeared. He NEVER does this. What jerk. He's also still taking $700 a day out of all his accounts. What a great big fluffy ball of poop he is.
Here's the actual text of the emails:
From: "T
To: "M
Subject: RE: ??
M,
Dont be puzzled. Im am just tying to figure out my place with you. I guess honestly I dont know what we are doing. I am very weird like that.
I hate not knowing exactly what the other person is thinking. You are still married and I dont want you to think that im a terrible person for being ok with your situation and I dont want to be the rebound girl.
I want to know that you like me for me and not for what I can give you until something better comes along. I know it is a lot to ask for someone that is not even completely out of his marriage.
I am afraid that you and i are not in the same place. You have made a couple of comments about never re-marring and no kids and unfortunately i want all those things and while I think you would be ideal...you are not there and wont be there.
I adore you, and, whether you know it or not, I have for a while. I was heart broken when you got married I would love a chance to spend time with you on a different level, but I just want you to be sure you want to spend time with me. I am ok, you are ok and it is all ok.
T
-----Original Message-----
From: M
To: t
Subject: ??
T,
I am not mad or upset just a little puzzled it is OK but i waited twice for you to call back after you said you would and yes i do want to get you alone.But i do not want to make it to obvious at work. I am Ok your Ok it `s Ok I am trying to act normal.
M
I called her and told her she was a b***h and that I was calling her boss (who loves me BTW) .
I know I shouldn't have (only because I'd rather DH not know what I know), but if I'm sitting here shaking in rage, she should at least have to sit through the day shaking in fear. Big no-no frolicking with married coworkers on company time, using company email.
Right now, I'm feeling more sick about the $81.00 he spent taking her out to dinner instead of coming to visit DD (not that I really want him to see DD anymore) than I am about all the money he's hiding. He never, ever, ever, in a million years would have spent that to take me out to dinner. He didn't even take me out for our anniversary.
It's funny (in a sad sort of way), but the longer this goes on, the more I see him doing and saying the exact same things he did to his first wife. And here, I thought she was the bad person all this time. If he did it to both of us, he'll do it again. Not that I have one ounce of sympathy for T. I didn't begin our relationship by having an affair.
He has been emailing a coworker. NOT a usual thing for him. He got back from his trip and started sending her emails every day. Mostly just pictures, but still...
On Sunday, he had a charge on his bank account for Cheesecake Factory. There is NO ONE IN THE WORLD he would take to Cheesecake Factory. He certainly wouldn't have taken me.
So today, there is an email to his coworker saying he had "called twice and she hadn't called back. Everything's okay. I'm okay, you're okay. I just wanted to get you alone. But I don't want it to be obvious to anyone at work."
WTH? Regarding the pictures he's sent, they are all close up look-at-my-sexy-self pictures. He sends actual surfing pictures and scenary pictures to everyone else, not this close-up smiley crap.
As soon as he sent the email, he must have deleted it from his Sent and Trash folders. It disappeared. He NEVER does this. What jerk. He's also still taking $700 a day out of all his accounts. What a great big fluffy ball of poop he is.
Here's the actual text of the emails:
From: "T
To: "M
Subject: RE: ??
M,
Dont be puzzled. Im am just tying to figure out my place with you. I guess honestly I dont know what we are doing. I am very weird like that.
I hate not knowing exactly what the other person is thinking. You are still married and I dont want you to think that im a terrible person for being ok with your situation and I dont want to be the rebound girl.
I want to know that you like me for me and not for what I can give you until something better comes along. I know it is a lot to ask for someone that is not even completely out of his marriage.
I am afraid that you and i are not in the same place. You have made a couple of comments about never re-marring and no kids and unfortunately i want all those things and while I think you would be ideal...you are not there and wont be there.
I adore you, and, whether you know it or not, I have for a while. I was heart broken when you got married I would love a chance to spend time with you on a different level, but I just want you to be sure you want to spend time with me. I am ok, you are ok and it is all ok.
T
-----Original Message-----
From: M
To: t
Subject: ??
T,
I am not mad or upset just a little puzzled it is OK but i waited twice for you to call back after you said you would and yes i do want to get you alone.But i do not want to make it to obvious at work. I am Ok your Ok it `s Ok I am trying to act normal.
M
I called her and told her she was a b***h and that I was calling her boss (who loves me BTW) .
I know I shouldn't have (only because I'd rather DH not know what I know), but if I'm sitting here shaking in rage, she should at least have to sit through the day shaking in fear. Big no-no frolicking with married coworkers on company time, using company email.
Right now, I'm feeling more sick about the $81.00 he spent taking her out to dinner instead of coming to visit DD (not that I really want him to see DD anymore) than I am about all the money he's hiding. He never, ever, ever, in a million years would have spent that to take me out to dinner. He didn't even take me out for our anniversary.
It's funny (in a sad sort of way), but the longer this goes on, the more I see him doing and saying the exact same things he did to his first wife. And here, I thought she was the bad person all this time. If he did it to both of us, he'll do it again. Not that I have one ounce of sympathy for T. I didn't begin our relationship by having an affair.
Friday, June 1, 2007
Exhibit C
Here is "Exhibit C" that has been made a part of official court document. It amuses me to no end that the name of my blog and this particular entry will be read by the judge. It makes DH look so...oh, what's the word...respectable.
Next thing you know, DH will be having me investigated for allowing an infant to drive a motor vehicle.
I had deleted this post from my blog a while back, so I'm posting it again for anyone who may have missed it.
EXHIBIT C
http://www.nevermarryanasshat.blogspot.com/
*As you all know by now, DH has been emptying all our bank and investment accounts in preparation for a divorce at a rate of $700 per day, with several lump sums of $25,000 to $75,000 disappearing all at once.*
I was bored. I was also passing by. So I thought I’d stop by my house to take a look around, see if there was anything interesting there that I might wish to “acquire” for myself.
Upon arrival, I discovered that DH had replaced all the doors and windows without telling me. Even the garage door opener. My keys would be no good here.
Bummer.
I thought, what the heck, I’ll try the front door anyway.
It was UNLOCKED!
We went in. After a long and thorough search of about 3 minutes, we finally found his well hidden stash of cash in his underwear drawer.
I took a pinch. Just a pinch. Nothing noticeable to the human eye. DD was urging me to take more. To take it all. But I said no. We didn’t want to blow our cover, especially since I’d left my secret agent disguise at home.
As we were leaving, a glimmer of light caught me out of the corner of my left eye.
Like a raccoon, I was drawn to the shimmer. Upon closer inspection, I discovered buckets upon buckets of coins carefully concealed on the kitchen counter and floor.
These were from our vending machine business that we owned. It appeared as though DH had given up rolling and depositing coins. He had chosen instead to fill his house with them.
I evened the buckets out a bit, just to be tidy.
Not wishing to overstay our welcome, we left in the same manner we had arrived – under cover of daylight. DD hummed a catchy James Bond tune and drove the getaway car (her motor skills are quite advanced for her age).
It was a difficult task, to say the least – after all, I am up against a very smart man – but in the end we got away with $X,XXX and a grocery bag full of quarters.
Next thing you know, DH will be having me investigated for allowing an infant to drive a motor vehicle.
I had deleted this post from my blog a while back, so I'm posting it again for anyone who may have missed it.
EXHIBIT C
http://www.nevermarryanasshat.blogspot.com/
*As you all know by now, DH has been emptying all our bank and investment accounts in preparation for a divorce at a rate of $700 per day, with several lump sums of $25,000 to $75,000 disappearing all at once.*
I was bored. I was also passing by. So I thought I’d stop by my house to take a look around, see if there was anything interesting there that I might wish to “acquire” for myself.
Upon arrival, I discovered that DH had replaced all the doors and windows without telling me. Even the garage door opener. My keys would be no good here.
Bummer.
I thought, what the heck, I’ll try the front door anyway.
It was UNLOCKED!
We went in. After a long and thorough search of about 3 minutes, we finally found his well hidden stash of cash in his underwear drawer.
I took a pinch. Just a pinch. Nothing noticeable to the human eye. DD was urging me to take more. To take it all. But I said no. We didn’t want to blow our cover, especially since I’d left my secret agent disguise at home.
As we were leaving, a glimmer of light caught me out of the corner of my left eye.
Like a raccoon, I was drawn to the shimmer. Upon closer inspection, I discovered buckets upon buckets of coins carefully concealed on the kitchen counter and floor.
These were from our vending machine business that we owned. It appeared as though DH had given up rolling and depositing coins. He had chosen instead to fill his house with them.
I evened the buckets out a bit, just to be tidy.
Not wishing to overstay our welcome, we left in the same manner we had arrived – under cover of daylight. DD hummed a catchy James Bond tune and drove the getaway car (her motor skills are quite advanced for her age).
It was a difficult task, to say the least – after all, I am up against a very smart man – but in the end we got away with $X,XXX and a grocery bag full of quarters.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Oh No, He Did Not!? Vol.2
Oh No, he did not????!!!! Vol. 2
So, while DH is out of the country (without telling me) for two weeks, I went over to my (former) home to check things out (a.k.a. snoop).
Apparently the intellectual genius who is my DH thought he would make a divorce less economically damaging. He has been gradually removing money from the bank for the past 3 months. Every day, $700 is being electronically withdrawn from one of the accounts. The others are nearly empty already, having had large lump sums removed as cash.
He has also opened a whole series of accounts at other banks. And changed the passwords for the investment accounts. And taken out a home equity line of credit worth almost the ENTIRE value of the equity in our home.
In other words, he now has CASH for ALL the equity in our home and the house is worth nothing.
It's a lot of money.
I can't figure out yet where the money has gone, but he also opened a safe deposit box at another bank.
Given his exceedingly advanced capacity for complex thought , I am guessing he has put all the cash into the safe deposit box.
And I have copies of it all.
Did I mention my DH is an idiot?
Oh, and my attorney appointment is on Thursday. Hopefully, I will have the divorce papers filed and waiting for him when he gets back from his trip .
So, while DH is out of the country (without telling me) for two weeks, I went over to my (former) home to check things out (a.k.a. snoop).
Apparently the intellectual genius who is my DH thought he would make a divorce less economically damaging. He has been gradually removing money from the bank for the past 3 months. Every day, $700 is being electronically withdrawn from one of the accounts. The others are nearly empty already, having had large lump sums removed as cash.
He has also opened a whole series of accounts at other banks. And changed the passwords for the investment accounts. And taken out a home equity line of credit worth almost the ENTIRE value of the equity in our home.
In other words, he now has CASH for ALL the equity in our home and the house is worth nothing.
It's a lot of money.
I can't figure out yet where the money has gone, but he also opened a safe deposit box at another bank.
Given his exceedingly advanced capacity for complex thought , I am guessing he has put all the cash into the safe deposit box.
And I have copies of it all.
Did I mention my DH is an idiot?
Oh, and my attorney appointment is on Thursday. Hopefully, I will have the divorce papers filed and waiting for him when he gets back from his trip .
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Oh No, He Did Not!?
My DH just LEFT THE COUNTRY for two weeks and didn't bother to tell me.
What an idiot!!!!!!!!!
OMGosh, he has a newborn BABY.
But I suppose since he decided he didn't need a family when DD was 5 weeks old, that relieves him of any responsibility to mention things like this.
He knew I had an insurance paper for him to sign this week.
Idiot Idiot Idiot!
Just one more thing for me to add to the heap of reasons I am seeking sole legal/physical custody.
Idiot.
What an idiot!!!!!!!!!
OMGosh, he has a newborn BABY.
But I suppose since he decided he didn't need a family when DD was 5 weeks old, that relieves him of any responsibility to mention things like this.
He knew I had an insurance paper for him to sign this week.
Idiot Idiot Idiot!
Just one more thing for me to add to the heap of reasons I am seeking sole legal/physical custody.
Idiot.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Inappropriate Laughter
DH came to visit DD on Sunday. According to his surfing schedule, of course.
Didn't really matter that I had just put DD down for a nap.
He told me matter-of-factly that he wanted to see her more and that *I* could drive her 50 miles to drop her off so she could spend the day with him.
Apparently he doesn't know that babies EAT. DD is breastfed and won't take a bottle, syringe, dropper, cup, or anything. Believe me, when I had thrush, I tried.
He responded by shouting "I WILL JUST FEED HER!" Umm, okay.
He ended up storming off saying "I can't believe I ever loved you. I'm getting an attorney. I hate you."
Maybe it was relief from all the stress I've been having, but that gave me a great big, hearty belly laugh (Inappropriate laughter?).
The next day he called and it was like IT NEVER HAPPENED! He was bending over backwards to make me happy. Has he not learned yet that this is what abusers do???? I can tell he was getting frustrated because it just wasn't working like it used to.
I found myself an attorney the next day. I am so done.
Didn't really matter that I had just put DD down for a nap.
He told me matter-of-factly that he wanted to see her more and that *I* could drive her 50 miles to drop her off so she could spend the day with him.
Apparently he doesn't know that babies EAT. DD is breastfed and won't take a bottle, syringe, dropper, cup, or anything. Believe me, when I had thrush, I tried.
He responded by shouting "I WILL JUST FEED HER!" Umm, okay.
He ended up storming off saying "I can't believe I ever loved you. I'm getting an attorney. I hate you."
Maybe it was relief from all the stress I've been having, but that gave me a great big, hearty belly laugh (Inappropriate laughter?).
The next day he called and it was like IT NEVER HAPPENED! He was bending over backwards to make me happy. Has he not learned yet that this is what abusers do???? I can tell he was getting frustrated because it just wasn't working like it used to.
I found myself an attorney the next day. I am so done.
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