Sunday, September 9, 2007

I Want To Be Your Personal Asshat

DH has another love interest.

A highly top secret inside source has informed me that the reason he did not visit DD this weekend was that he had a date.

It was definitely someone new. I can't imagine what the others are going to think!

Here I sit, with my brow furrowed and fingernails tapping impatiently on the table...wondering how, oh how, DH has managed to accumulate such an impressive collection of mistresses in such a short period of time.

His charm, sincerity, generosity, compassion, and intellectual aptitude - while admittedly great - seem hardly enough to attract such attention.

A quick search of the local personal ads for "asshat" yielded nothing.

It did occur to me that he might be using an alias...something a bit more flattering, perhaps?

Whatever his method, there seems to be an unusually high demand for cruel, abusive, dim-witted, narcissistic tightwads who have recently kicked their wives and infants out of their homes.

I would encourage everyone to rush right out and get their own before the supply dries up.

2 comments:

Melanie said...

My ex dated TONS of people too, and given that he's not even attractive and was quite a bit overweight at the time really left me puzzled as well! I did find out that he was hooking up with women he met on myspace and through yahoo personals. As a matter of fact, he met his wife-to-be through myspace. Oh...yeah...he's having a shotgun wedding next month! They are pregnant for the 2nd time after 5 months of dating. Woa! Apparently since she is so old (21), she needs to HURRY and get pregnant and married...after all, she is running out of time to do all that...and my ex is such a great catch too. *rolling eyes*

dkscott2002 said...

he doesn't waste much time does he? What a jerk.