Saturday, June 30, 2007

Decent Into Poverty - The Beginning

What a foolish woman I was, hoping to settle this divorce through cost-effective mediation. I should have know that a man as clever as DH would never agree to something so simple. He had to start hiding all the money, so I had to hire an attorney to make sure it is all found. Too bad for DH, as he will end up footing the bill.

As of this day, my legal fees total $990.

Ah, but this is just the beginning...

In contrast, DH has spent over $3,000 on his.

Friday, June 29, 2007

"Agent 007"

It is so sad. Tragic, really.

You see, it seems that DH got a "computer virus".

Those viruses can sure be tricky.

Especially when they forward your emails to everyone in your address book.

ESPECIALLY when the emails are messages to and from your mistress.

ESPECIALLY when your address book contains the email addresses of all your friends, family, and neighbors.

It can be hard to recover from a nasty computer virus like that.

I believe it is known as the "Agent 007" virus.

It's a doozy.

Apparently the side effects include hives, blurred vision, and the overwhelming disapproval of adulterous activities by one's circle of friends. One of the most annoying aspects of "Agent 007" is its tendency to forward copies of all emails to soon-to-be ex-wives .

So hard to sneak around when there are spying eyes everywhere, now isn't it?

UPDATE: I called DH this evening to arrange to pick up a few of my things - just to reinforce the idea that I had no way to get into the house by myself (wouldn't want him to think I had snooped around and "acquired" anything on a previous trip).

Anyway, he sounded like a total wet mop. It was great. Poor guy. I can't imagine what it might be like to have everyone in your known universe think you were a sleeze. Especially after spending months telling everyone your wife "just took the baby and left and didn't say why".

Boo Hoo. I'm feeling all sobby inside. Somebody hand me a tissue, please.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

An Open Letter to a Homewrecker

Open letters are all the rage these days, so I thought I'd try my hand at it...

Dear T,
I am quite curious to know if you are the reason DH left me when DD was only 5 1/2 weeks old? If so, and if you do one day have a child of your own, I hope that you suffer immensely every day of your life with the pain I have to endure knowing that my baby will grow up without a family.

You are a truly vile and filthy human being, T. If you are so eager to get in line to be number 3, I might do well to wish you the best. After all, you would certainly be getting no less than you deserve. He's done the same to two wives so far. Statistically, I hear that homewrecking whores fare much worse at creating successful relationships than do those of us who were honest and upright.

This does not, however, forgive your evil of being an opportunistic homewrecker. I hope your disgusting character is made plain to everyone you know very soon and that your evil is repaid tenfold.

Mrs. xxxxxx

Tell the it too much?

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

He's Having an Affair

Okay, I know my DH is an a$$ and I know I am divorcing him, but this just pisses me off (at least until it will start to hurt ).

He has been emailing a coworker. NOT a usual thing for him. He got back from his trip and started sending her emails every day. Mostly just pictures, but still...

On Sunday, he had a charge on his bank account for Cheesecake Factory. There is NO ONE IN THE WORLD he would take to Cheesecake Factory. He certainly wouldn't have taken me.

So today, there is an email to his coworker saying he had "called twice and she hadn't called back. Everything's okay. I'm okay, you're okay. I just wanted to get you alone. But I don't want it to be obvious to anyone at work."

WTH? Regarding the pictures he's sent, they are all close up look-at-my-sexy-self pictures. He sends actual surfing pictures and scenary pictures to everyone else, not this close-up smiley crap.

As soon as he sent the email, he must have deleted it from his Sent and Trash folders. It disappeared. He NEVER does this. What jerk. He's also still taking $700 a day out of all his accounts. What a great big fluffy ball of poop he is.

Here's the actual text of the emails:

From: "T
To: "M
Subject: RE: ??

Dont be puzzled. Im am just tying to figure out my place with you. I guess honestly I dont know what we are doing. I am very weird like that.

I hate not knowing exactly what the other person is thinking. You are still married and I dont want you to think that im a terrible person for being ok with your situation and I dont want to be the rebound girl.

I want to know that you like me for me and not for what I can give you until something better comes along. I know it is a lot to ask for someone that is not even completely out of his marriage.

I am afraid that you and i are not in the same place. You have made a couple of comments about never re-marring and no kids and unfortunately i want all those things and while I think you would be are not there and wont be there.

I adore you, and, whether you know it or not, I have for a while. I was heart broken when you got married I would love a chance to spend time with you on a different level, but I just want you to be sure you want to spend time with me. I am ok, you are ok and it is all ok.

-----Original Message-----
From: M
To: t
Subject: ??
I am not mad or upset just a little puzzled it is OK but i waited twice for you to call back after you said you would and yes i do want to get you alone.But i do not want to make it to obvious at work. I am Ok your Ok it `s Ok I am trying to act normal.

I called her and told her she was a b***h and that I was calling her boss (who loves me BTW) .

I know I shouldn't have (only because I'd rather DH not know what I know), but if I'm sitting here shaking in rage, she should at least have to sit through the day shaking in fear. Big no-no frolicking with married coworkers on company time, using company email.

Right now, I'm feeling more sick about the $81.00 he spent taking her out to dinner instead of coming to visit DD (not that I really want him to see DD anymore) than I am about all the money he's hiding. He never, ever, ever, in a million years would have spent that to take me out to dinner. He didn't even take me out for our anniversary.

It's funny (in a sad sort of way), but the longer this goes on, the more I see him doing and saying the exact same things he did to his first wife. And here, I thought she was the bad person all this time. If he did it to both of us, he'll do it again. Not that I have one ounce of sympathy for T. I didn't begin our relationship by having an affair.