Sunday, September 2, 2007

Warmest Welcome to Attorney Asshat

I spoke with my attorney the other day about my great concern over being up against the mountain of intellect that is my DH. I had made a careless mistake that gave him access to "Exhibit C" and forced me to make my blog private. I didn't want to make any further missteps.

You never know where an asshat might be lurking.

My imagination causes me to envision him hiding out in the dumpster where I dispose of my garbage, rooting around for some incriminating tidbit of evidence to support his claims of my wickedness. Somehow, this seems to be an entirely suitable environment for him.

Certainly, he would whimper and drool at the opportunity to gain access to the rest of my blog entries. Then he would find out about all of my crimes and misdeeds against him.

You know, that plan I had to marry him just to have a baby, leave, and take all his precious money. And how my mom was in on it because she wanted a grandbaby. And my dad - he was in on it too. From the very beginning. He paid for the wedding, just so I could put my plan into effect.

Just to be safe, I asked my attorney if it was safe to continue blogging. He assured me that it was, however, anything I put in writing could, eventually, be read by DH.

If DH read my blog, my attorney cautioned, it might make it difficult for us to get along and communicate.

Since DH is already impossible to communicate with, even without any help from my blog, I figured I had nothing to lose by continuing to write about him.

So, any day now, Never Marry An Asshat may be visited by Attorney Asshat (I have changed his name to protect his identity - Asshat is not his real name).

Attorney Asshat, we bid you fond greetings and very happy reading! Please feel free to stay and comment!


dkscott2002 said...

Nice to meet you Attorney Asshat! Well, maybe not so nice to meet you.

Melanie said...

Attorney Asshat...haaaaa. I wonder if they are learning any new things about their client??

Amanda said...

That's one for the resume...