Thursday, July 26, 2007

The Rise and Fall of 007

I made a mistake.

It was bound to happen eventually. I knew this. Although, I was banking on DHs dimwittedness in aiding the postponement of the inevitable.

Unfortunately for me, my mistake was caught. I had sent an unpublished blog entry to my brother. Hoping to avoid being snagged by the SPAM filters, I used an old email address.

I forgot to delete the sent message.

Like a highly trained circus animal, DH pounced on the opportunity to mimic the actions of the master who had beaten him so brutally.

In the quiet of the darkened night (probably to avoid my spying eyes), he got in to my account and checked the sent folder.

Surveying the damage by the light of day, I received the shock of all shocks...

DH had forwarded my account of his chicanery and philandering to everyone in my address book.

How utterly mortified and shamed beyond words I was, as I sat there whimpering in defeat.

My entire address book.

I slowly made my way through the list of names, thinking to act quickly to stem the flow of humiliation that threatened to overwhelm me. What would I do if my entire circle of friends found out what a weasel snit booger my DH was.

He had sent it to...

me

me

me

me

oh! another me

my sister's closed account

and my dad.

Wow! That's the slap on the wrist I get for keeping track of my junk email accounts in my address book.

He also sent a personalized email to my SIL telling her of my worthlessness (more on that later).

To add a final, wounding blow, he closed my account.

That's right.

The account I had not used in over 5 months. Closed. Gone.

Pausing briefly to wail at my loss, I considered my options.

Knowing that DH had likely spent a wakeful night recounting the ways in which he was more clever than I, I thought I should call this morning to burst his bubble.

I could hear the snicker in his voice as he asked me why I was calling.

I gave him until the end of the day to see to it that my account was restored, lest my attorney and the police become involved.

He hung up.

It took him only an hour to reconsider. It was a mistake, he said. He didn't know what he was thinking. He shouldn't have done it. He was stupid. He guesses he is just a stupid man.

Oh really?

2 comments:

Devan said...

haaahaaaa haaa

amy said...

Wow. there are no words. what planet is he from???