Friday, June 1, 2007

Exhibit C

Here is "Exhibit C" that has been made a part of official court document. It amuses me to no end that the name of my blog and this particular entry will be read by the judge. It makes DH look so...oh, what's the word...respectable.

Next thing you know, DH will be having me investigated for allowing an infant to drive a motor vehicle.

I had deleted this post from my blog a while back, so I'm posting it again for anyone who may have missed it.

EXHIBIT C

http://www.nevermarryanasshat.blogspot.com/

*As you all know by now, DH has been emptying all our bank and investment accounts in preparation for a divorce at a rate of $700 per day, with several lump sums of $25,000 to $75,000 disappearing all at once.*

I was bored. I was also passing by. So I thought I’d stop by my house to take a look around, see if there was anything interesting there that I might wish to “acquire” for myself.

Upon arrival, I discovered that DH had replaced all the doors and windows without telling me. Even the garage door opener. My keys would be no good here.

Bummer.


I thought, what the heck, I’ll try the front door anyway.

It was UNLOCKED!

We went in. After a long and thorough search of about 3 minutes, we finally found his well hidden stash of cash in his underwear drawer.

I took a pinch. Just a pinch. Nothing noticeable to the human eye. DD was urging me to take more. To take it all. But I said no. We didn’t want to blow our cover, especially since I’d left my secret agent disguise at home.

As we were leaving, a glimmer of light caught me out of the corner of my left eye.

Like a raccoon, I was drawn to the shimmer. Upon closer inspection, I discovered buckets upon buckets of coins carefully concealed on the kitchen counter and floor.

These were from our vending machine business that we owned. It appeared as though DH had given up rolling and depositing coins. He had chosen instead to fill his house with them.

I evened the buckets out a bit, just to be tidy.

Not wishing to overstay our welcome, we left in the same manner we had arrived – under cover of daylight. DD hummed a catchy James Bond tune and drove the getaway car (her motor skills are quite advanced for her age).

It was a difficult task, to say the least – after all, I am up against a very smart man – but in the end we got away with $X,XXX and a grocery bag full of quarters.

4 comments:

dkscott2002 said...

I don't think you have to worry about it. It just shows what an idiot he is. Boy, he's really trying to win you back, huh!!

Amanda said...

Um, what a great exhibit... shows that he's hiding money in various ways. Nice. He's further proving the point for you.

Tonya said...

Did his lawyer actually read this before they submitted it? I think they're both looney!

Melanie said...

So, now he's spelling out how he stole the money to the judge for you! Great, makes your job even easier.