We all know by now what a dismal failure I was as the wife of an Asshat. I do hope DH has been a bit more selective in choosing his current girlfriend.
I thought to do a quick comparison to see how Beth stacked up.
~DH said I was fat at my pre-pregnancy weight of 145 and 5'3".
Beth is 175 and 5'3".
I wonder how long until DH starts to ration her cheese?
~I am blonde.
Beth is bleached blonde.
~I did not earn enough money per DH's expectation.
Beth earns substantially less.
~I can spell, or at least use a dictionary.
Beth prefers not to maintain skills in that area.
~I am 33.
Beth is 38 and might possibly have more wrinkles, bags, and overall sagginess than me.
~I have two cats that DH hated (and tried to feed to the neighborhood coyotes while I was moving out.)
Beth has something akin to a zoo and probably smells of cow manure and cat urine.
~I, while slightly more dramatic than the average folks, am most certainly mentally stable.
Beth appears to be somewhat of a cross between a manic-depressive and a Tazmanian Devil on crack, although I have no medical substantiation to these claims.
~I was baggage-free.
Beth has "a long history of bad relationships with men."
~I have flawless teeth.
Beth is snaggle-toothed.
Yep, I'd have to say he's taken a step up in the world.